Looking in the Mirror

Have you ever observed someone from afar and after a while realized you were looking at yourself?  And, you didn’t like what you saw? Perhaps you watched someone scold their child in an unproductive way and there was something all too familiar with their tone. Maybe it was the way someone handled their money or the way they treated others that caused this deja vu moment in your soul. Whatever it was, you felt a blush of red come over your face because there was something in that action that reminded you of… well….you. You were looking in the mirror and it wasn’t good.

I have been feeling a bit like that as I have been on my “Church Visitation Tour” this past year. Leaving full time ministry of eight years and jumping into seminary has proved to be a big transition for me. But, one of the things that it has allowed our family to do is visit other churches. While we are committed to a great church in our hometown, we also saw this time in our lives as an opportunity to visit other believers and learn from them. While in seminary we want to find out what God is doing in other parts of the country, to see how other people do church, and to know what it feels like to walk into a church for the first time. We have visited a number of churches this past year and sometimes I admit, I had that “Mirror Moment” where I didn’t like what I saw in my own life. I didn’t like how mechanical church attendance had become for me and, how my actions may have alienated some people from the church.

While not wanting to join the throng of superficial complaining voices that are quick to point out the church’s failings, I have decided to frame this in a way of how I will change. This is how I will do church differently from now on, this is how I will attempt to lead God’s church towards its redemptive potential.

The following 10 phrases were statements that have been going through my mind as I process my visits. This is how I will do church differently in the future.

1.    What on earth does that announcement mean? – Before giving an announcement ask, “What vital information do I need to convey?” or “Is this announcement only for 5 or 6 people?” What I announce and how I announce it shows newcomers what I value. Seek to use inclusive language that isn’t directed at the “in crowd” only.

2.    An inside joke needs to be explained – While an inside joke is a great way to build rapport with the congregation it alienates the visitors if it is not qualified or explained.

3.    Just talk to me! – Could you step outside your click for just thirty seconds and acknowledge my existence? There was a marked difference between the churches that were warm and friendly and those that were not. I realized that for some reason, I would not open up spiritually until I was comfortable socially.

4.    Holy perfume! – I know my allergies make me a lone ranger on this one but what happened to “no scents is good sense?” Perfume makes people with allergies sick. In fact, at some churches I had to get up and move mid-service because my body was repulsed. Are my actions hindering someone from worshiping God? Yes, even the odour from my body can be a stumbling block.

5.    Please don’t single me out from the stage – enough said.

6.    A nice building is a poor substitute for hospitality – A nice building may get someone to visit once but if I’m not prepared, or even halfway helpful, don’t expect people to return.

7.    Reassure me that my kids are in good hands – Every parent whether Christian or atheist are extremely concerned for the welfare of their children. Even though I have grown up in church my whole like, I kept asking myself in the back of my mind, “Can I trust this person?” Caring children workers are essential to any growing church.

8.    Expect my visit – Where is the sanctuary? Where is the children’s ministry area? Do the children sit in the service or is there children’s church? Is that coffee for anyone? Welcoming knowledgeable greeters make a big difference. I need to go to church every Sunday looking out for new people and how I can enfold them into the church.

9.    Update your website – What time does your church service start?  What do you value as a church? People want to come, they just aren’t informed. Social media and a strong internet presence is a must for any growing church.

10. Preach like there is eternity at stake – Do I preach because I need to say something or because I have something to say? – There is a big difference between the two. Go to my knees till I find the conviction to preach as if it is the very words of God.